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  • Writer's pictureShir Warr


We all have lots of them…

  • We expect things to always work out.

  • We expect the supermarket veggies to always be fresh.

  • We expect chicken to taste a certain way, and chocolate to taste a different way.

  • We expect our parents to be there for us when we need them.

  • We expect to never be seriously sick, have an accident, or grow old… Heck, we expect to live forever even when we know that’s not possible.

  • Sometimes we even expect perfection of ourselves, in everything (warning—perfection is an ever-moving target).

  • Clients expect certain results from their coaches, and coaches expect a certain work ethic and commitment from their clients.

Fact is, those are just expectations—they are not based on any universal laws or truths, and any outcome depends on so many variables… A coach can’t hand you results without you putting in consistent efforts, and a client can’t execute a perfect plan without already having the perfect conditions for it in their current life.

When it comes to a coaching relationship, the results you see as a patient/client depend on how willing, ready and able you are to get uncomfortable… The less willing you are to let go of who you currently are, your mindset, your priorities and your current habits, the less likely you are to see results or even progress towards results.

Attachments to foods, routines, environments, beliefs and even some relationships can be holding you back from making those changes you need to get closer to your goals.

As a coach, you must get uncomfortable too: If you always act on your instinct to “fix” your client/patient, you will never meet them where they’re at. If you always prescribe and dictate, your client/patient will somehow always resist in one way or another, and end up “sabotaging” themselves, or being “non-compliant”. Sometimes they will disappear completely, “ghosting” you, not responding to your messages because they feel defeated, unheard, incapable.

For this relationship to be successful, and for someone to actually see results, there has to be a safe, compassionate space provided without judgement, as well as an understanding that expectations were clearly defined and based on the reality of one’s life, not some unsustainable ideals dictated by social norms and retouched media.

What are YOUR expectations?

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